Two Days Left
omg guess what joke host sister asked me today?
Q: “黑人为什么喜欢吃白巧克力？“A：”因为他们吃黑巧克力时会不小心吃到手指头。“
I said: “say what?!”
the moms in the car were dead silent as I spilled a couple-a “OMG OH MY GOD OH MY GOD”ssss
December 20, 2010
delizciously
Three Days Left
December 19th, 2010 (Sunday)
Today, I tagged along Gus’s meeting with Charles, the mastermind behind the super insightful blog, Chinageeks.org. Charles is currently working on a documentary on the phenomenon of kidnapped children in China.
Check it out here:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/303039810/finding-home-documentary-on-kidnapped-children-in
I love meeting my kind of people. “My kind” containing a broad range of definitions — simply put, people who I love talking to.
I have been counting down the days until I get back to the States. But recently, I find myself wishing the countdown would slow down — I’m making many unforgettable friendships to keep saying, “I can’t wait to get outta here!” Alas, I will be back, China. Rest assured of my return, my Little Mistress.
Well, my impending bittersweet departure has sparked a question in my turbulent mind:
How many people do we brush shoulders with daily — whom we might connect with, under the right conditions?
Ahhh, there are so many interesting things to uncover in this world. We just need to open our eyes, and look under the rocks, which we have fooled ourselves to think are only part of the background.
To Do List
The other day, like a goodie-too-shoe-aka-model-Chinese-girl, I phoned Grandpapa and Grandmama.
After I reassured them that I was wearing enough layers at the moment, and that I was feeding myself frequently, Grandpapa and Grandmama issued the following ordinance:
- Don’t eat candies from strangers. Even if they are wrapped.
- Don’t go anywhere alone.
- Don’t talk to strangers.
- Don’t go anywhere alone with strangers.
- When you smell smoke, run.
- Stay out of politics.
- Avoid men.
- Don’t get tattoos.
Oops, are you sure you don’t mean “do” all of the above? Because I have reason to believe that I have done the opposite of all of the above. And yet, still alive. Ha!
Yep, even the last one on the list.
I got a “made in china” tattoo that was made in China! On my skin, which was also made in China!
Triple entandre, baby. Just for that, it was worth the ¥75.
Bro says that “a tattoo is a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling.” I say a tattoo can very well be a permanent reminder of a permanent truth.
Next things on my to do list:
tattoos of “Exported to the U.S.” and “Refurbished in Berkeley.”
Irony, you are a bitch
December 11th, 2010 (Saturday)
Dearest Life,
Quit playing games with me.
Today, I had enough of the taste of irony. I feel like I’m under a curse. Even all this French food can’t wash the bitter taste from my mouth. Even all this sweet compliments can’t lift my spirits.
I’m so tired of unreciprocated-ness. It’s extremely inefficient; it pains me to witness all these beautiful flows of energy going in misdirections toward Nothingness, evaporating into thin air. Poof! All gone. Until they come back, spit ruthlessly onto your face, and stone you to death with rocks of Mockery.
Fine, two can play this game. I’ll laugh louder, liver better, and love harder.
“The phoenix Hope, can wing her way through the desert skies, and still defying fortune’s spite; revive from ashes and rise.” – Miguel Cervantes (author of Don Quixote)
Hello, sweet Resurrection.
My Most Prized Possession
December 6th, 2010 (Monday)
Of late, a remnant from the past has surfaced and fermented in my conscious mind, releasing so pungent a smell that I can no longer ignore it. So I shall confront it.
This nuisance is a short answer from the 2008 Stanford college admission application:
What is your most prized possession?
My answer was “my brain,” two words that showed how much of the said thing I was using.
(Considering that my other answers also bore the same shade of stupidity, I don’t think I took the application seriously… plus I procrastinated until the last hour to finish it. But then again, the sourest grapes are always the ones out of reach, no? Ha. But hey, was Warren Buffet admitted into Harvard Business School? No. Did publishers accept J.K. Rowling’s story of a four-eyed scrawny wizard the first 7 times she had sent in the script? Negative.)
Anywho, regarding the question, I have another (better) answer:
My most prized possession is a music box.
Not just any musical box. This box, my friend, is neither visible nor tangible.
And this box makes noises that only I can hear. I was not aware of its existence until a few months ago.
Ever since I began traveling, I have grown accustomed to Independence and her bastard, Being Comfortable Alone. When I am alone, my musical box springs open and plays a melody that complements whichever mood I am under the spell of. The melodies vary, but they are always composed of voices and laughter and cackles of the beautiful people that I have had the fortune to meet in this journey of life.
Therefore, I am never alone. Take that, Stanford.
I sink I’m gettin’ a cavity…
Crystal’s Christmas wish list:
- pillow pet
- books
- ice skate at Union Square
- fly to China to see Elizabeth
This is exactly why I’m getting so many cavities.
BINGO: Host Mommy Lingo
November 30th, 2010 (Tuesday)
I play a game in my room every night for instant gratification. I win every time because almost always I get every single one of the following squares. My Host Mommy is a broken tape recorder (and no, it’s not because she was Made in China, but because she is a Mom).
The terms fall under these categories:
Homework, Sleep, Shower, Hurry Up, Nicknames for Host Sister, and Clean Up.
Shit—ake mushrooms, I sure hope I don’t turn into her if I ever have kids. *Mental note to self.*
B I N G O
| 捉紧时间啊 | 喝点水 | 收拾书包 | 做完作业了吗？ | 小乔 |
| 亲爱的 | 宝贝 | 写好了吗？ | 赶快啊！ | 都几点了？！ |
| 还没做完啊？！ | 快洗澡去 | 收拾桌子 | 找好明天要穿的衣服 | 写完每日一句了吗？ |
| 要捉紧啊 | 准备吃饭了 | 不要磨蹭 | 坐好！ | 快睡吧 |
| 英语作文写了吗？ | 要看远处 | 捉紧 | 功课开始做了吗？ | 不要再玩了 |
On another note, according to BeijingAir on Twitter, the air quality in Beijing these days is apparently very “Unhealthy,” even “Hazardous.”
Talk about adjusting to one’s environment. I didn’t notice it at all! I had seriously thought that this smog was just “fog.”
Nor is it likely that this realization will change my behavior in the remaining three weeks of my stay…
America, How do I love thee? Let me count the ways:
1. Clean air
2. Clean drinking water
3. Lack of people grinding against my booty on public transportation (this will be hard to get used to)
4. Foods not swimming in pools of oil
5. Running in the woods
6. Get to school within 5 minutes
7. Yoga to the People
8. Sitting public toilets WITH complimentary toilet paper
9. FREE SPEECH… Cafe
10. Thrift store at Dana and Durant!
Listen to the sighs of the fallen leaf, and the whispers from the wind…
November 23rd, 2010 (Tuesday)
There is something romantic about fall. As of late, the bare branches and the minty air of Beijing had inspired a craving for this beloved poem that I once recited in high school:
李清照《声声慢》
寻寻觅觅，冷冷清清，凄凄惨惨戚戚。
乍暖还寒时候，最难将息。
三杯两盏残淡酒，怎敌他、晚来风急。
雁过也，正伤心，却是旧时相识。
满地黄花堆积。憔悴损，如今有谁堪摘。
守著窗儿，独自怎生得黑。
梧桐更兼细雨，到黄昏点点滴滴。
这次第，怎一个愁字了得！
Song Dynasty poetess 李清照 is one of the most representative female poets of classical Chinese poetry. In my eyes, she is the best of the best. This poem was written after the death of her true love, business failures, and an abusive second husband. She died penniless, alone, and heartbroken. Why are great ones always the tortured souls?
This lyrical poem paints a heart-wrenching scene, in which the wild-geese laments, and the indus tree cries raindrops.
李清照 leans against the windowsill, as an isolated island in the middle of this masterpiece, drowning in a pool of sorrow.
Almost a thousand years later, her ingeniously selected syllables create a harmonic effect that continues to hymn music to the ears, and play pizzicato with the strings of the heart. The Taoist in me believes that through her words, her essence lives on still.
What a romantic.
Oh sentiment, you are the devil.
The Love of My Life
November 22, 2010
Baby Sis chats with me via Anthony’s account:
Crystal, Jie Jie will buy you any suntan lotion you want, and then we will hold hands and see the stars in the sky and maybe try to pick them from the sky — the big ones are good. Small ones are ok, too.
